Most pro athletes, especially those within our favorite American sports leagues, have very specific uniform guidelines and rules. The NFL hands out tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of fines each week for uniform violations. Each MLB uniform style guide is pages long, with notes on color combos, kerning, and spacing (earn this week’s bonus points if you can name the three jersey numbers Michael Jordan wore with the Bulls). The NBA will be the first of the 4 major sports leagues to allow advertising on their uniforms starting in 2017-18. The world of sports attire is typically a well-regulated one, but the pro golf scene is like the Wild West. There are rules, both on the PGA and European Tours, but not really uniforms. The outfits are usually, and hopefully, put together with a plan in mind, either by the golfer or his sponsors. Some of those plans work out – some of them definitely do not.
This week, let’s take a look at some of the best and worst looks from the Dean & Deluca Invitational at the Colonial Country Club in Ft. Worth, TX.
Brandt Snedeker – Damper
Brandt usually looks just fine, but I’ve always thought that guys with pink skin (I’m one of them) shouldn’t wear pink. Everything kind of blends together and you end up looking like a shirtless pink man. He’s basically a sunscreen sponsorship waiting to happen – avoid pink, Brandt!
Bryson DeChambeau – Dapper
Bryson received a lot of attention at the Masters for his solid play, his robotic swing, and the touring cap look a la Payne Stewart. I wish he’d just go for it and hitch his pant legs up, too, but he’s got a unique look and he does a nice job of making sure everything fits and matches.
Patrick Reed – Damper
I’m sure someone could call me out on this right away, but is he the only guy rocking pleated pants on the TOUR? He usually makes bad wardrobe choices – big baggy pants and shirts – but at least it’s clean colors and easy combinations to match. The pleats, though. Come on, man!
Martin Piller – N/A
He looks fine. This is just a funny picture.
Ian Poulter – Dapper
I normally do not like what Poults decides to wear; I think it’s usually way too flashy and he ends up looking like a peacock. I know he’s got his own line of clothes and his visor-with-dumb-spiky-hair is his self-imposed “look”. In Round 2, though, I think this is a pretty good choice. Sticking to a solid color up top helps and the shirt and pants match well.
Hiroshi Iwata – Damper
I don’t really know what this is about – but it’s bad. I’m sure there’s a nifty fashion word for it (other than ugly), but for the sake of this blog and people watching golf, we’ll stick with ugly. Do you think he woke up and said, ‘Hmmm…plaid upper chest rectangle today feels like the right play’? If so, good for him. Ugly, though.
Brett Stegmaier – Damper
I honestly think the plaid upper chest rectangle is better than this. What a terrible shirt. Bill Murray might pass on wearing this shirt. Light blue. Plaid. Fake vest. And he tossed in the visor look just to hammer this awful look home. Aggressive play.
Adam Scott – Dapper
Adam always has his wardrobe together. He usually sticks with a more muted look – lots of blacks and greys. This is an interesting one because he’s got a collarless shirt on. It’s an odd choice and I’m not sure a lot of guys could pull this off, but Adam does.
Jason Kokrak – Damper
Water camo, huh? So the thought process here is that if he has to jump in a lake to get his ball he doesn’t want anyone to be able to see his upper body? Cool, I get it. Of all the simple polo choices he could make, he went with this. Bad choice or ill-advised.
Kyle Reifers – Damper
Huge sponsor logos are tacky – but coupled with an epic case of swamp ass? What a nice day for Mr. Reifers.
Bill Murray – Dapper
I can’t really explain it – two non-matching gloves, ugly pants, ugly shirt, ugly swing – but it’s Bill Murray. He’s reached that level where he can basically do whatever he wants, and he knows it. I’m sure he knows that he looks like an idiot but he wears it well.